Growing up I never thought I would have as many kids as I do. But this is the best thing that has ever happened to me on this Earth. Children are a true blessing. My life prior to children was all about me. I was self-absorbed, selfish, inconsiderate and the world revolved around me, but after having my first child everything changed. There was a light that got turned on and all of a sudden for the first time my eyes saw things through different lenses. I learned what love really was. I learned how not to think about myself and how to give of myself to someone else. I learned that life was precious and a gift. I never knew how much another person could mean to me that wasn’t myself. I can look back on having my first child all the way down to my 7th and know that I’d give my life for them.
I would do this all over again and then some (having a large family) because I love my children and I love teaching them to love. In this house having a lot of people just means having a lot of blessings and more love to go around. This is the good side that makes me happy. There is another side where there are struggles, complicated issues and other things that arise that can steal my joy from having a large family if I choose to let them. But I’m not going to do that! I’m going to focus on the things that I am thankful for and for the loves of my life that God blessed me with.
I have found myself in a state of lacking. I have lacked a desire to be in the word, I have lack of desire to seek God, and I have lack of desire to be in prayer. I do not find any deep sin in my life that would have kept me from doing all of the above. But prior to the present I was in a deep dark place my health was failing and I sought God with all my heart mind and soul. He gave me wisdom and delivered me from my sickness. And it seems because I am not in a trial that I have slowly but surely have moved away from him. It almost feels like I’m ungrateful for what he did but in reality I’m not. I’m very grateful and I believe that not having that burden and feeling my load lighten makes me feel free and sadly it makes me feel like I don’t need to be on my hands and knees all the time. I am convicted that I am not doing what I should be doing and that I need to return to where I was, sick or healthy, God should always be my priority. Through my sickness it was the most beautiful relationship I had ever experienced being so close to Christ and walking in his likeness. I still have the same desires to be holy to be righteous to be like Jesus. What I’m locking is giving time to God, seeking him, reading the word and loving him with all my heart mind and soul. I will return to my first love and I will seek God more. I’m on day 3 of changing my habits and giving my time that is rightfully God’s to Him. I’ve already been blessed by the time I have spent in the word and God is showing me things that I had not seen before or understood. I’m getting to know him better each time I read the Bible. I hope that if you find yourself in the same situation that you’re desire would be to go back and draw near to God the way we should and give ourselves wholeheartedly to Him. Praise God that if we are truly His and if we stray from the narrow path he will draw us back to it and keep us safe in His hands.
I was reading Hebrews 13 and I was humbled by God’s calling to share what we have because everything we have belongs to him. I’m grateful for everything that he has provided for me and my family and I realize now that all that I have can be shared with others in Christ. This makes me so excited because the things that I possess can be used for more Fellowship, for giving, for loving, and for expressing my love and desire to honor and please Christ. Using all these things that God has allowed me to have can also bring about a relationship that can allow me to disciple someone in Christ. It is my greatest desire to honor and please God and draw near to him and to be obedient to his word. There is nothing better than walking closely and humbly with God. I give all that I have and all that I am to God. Through conviction I hope to be lead throughout the rest of my life in a way that honors and pleases God. I also want to be a light to the world and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Also I desire to be a good Godly example for others to imitate. I hope to become that older mature woman that is called to teach the younger women. I know that to teach others is a huge responsibility and I don’t take it lightly which is why I hope that everything I do reflects Christ. I’m going to start today by sharing what I have and also showing good hospitality to others.
For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 13:14-16 ESV
I recently started working with a Dr. Jana to possibly heal Jubilee’s autism in a natural way. How do you do that? I am glad you asked. First off, I started out by changing Jubilee’s diet a few months back using the Whole30 and found that we had some success in causing some of her symptoms to go away and she also progressed in her language. We went off the Whole30 and returned to a diet that I consider healthy but for her body, sadly it was not. We do most of the cooking in this house down to the bread, mayo, ketchup ect. We kept things sugar free and bought organic milk. I know the milk was pasteurized and probably caused trouble for her body to digest causing more neurological problems. The result of going back to our diet caused her to regress and become more withdrawn and unable to communicate as well.
So what did I do next. I put her back on the Whole30 and decided that diet was best for her. However, it did not cure her. She got better but not all the way. I contacted Dr. Jana and we set up more restrictions on her diet. On the Whole30 your allowed to eat fruit, white potatoes and dried fruit. Well we had to eliminate those things from Jubilee’s diet. I know what your thinking, "What do you feed that poor child then."
Trust me she still eats plenty. We feed her berries, natural fats, meats, vegetable and a lot of coconut milk. I have 5 other children I have to cook for and that do not need to be restricted like her so I have my hands and my brain full trying to figure out what to feed 2 sets of people and on top of that a husband who is picky as well. This keeps my mind working, hahaha I think all I think about is what to cook some times.
Anyways, so today we are on day 4 and I am vlogging . We already made progress and I am excited to see what happens once her supplements are here. Jubilee makes more eye contact, talks more, is able to communicate what she is thinking more and is also more involved in what is happening. Her memory is also working. I do notice under stressful situations she withdrawals and I am hoping as we get further along that she will not do that. However, she does not withdrawal for as long a period of time as she used to. I was scolding her and her eye crossed only for about 4 seconds and returned to its normal position where normally it would stay crossed for hours because she was emotionally upset. I didn’t notice this until not. I thought her eye crossed whenever it wanted but I am noticing now when and what causes it to happen.
Anyways, this is the beginning of our journey and if you want to continue to see her progress follow me on youtube.com/mjsaladin