I feel so guilty when I am sick and cannot do the things that I normally do. I beat myself up and keep telling myself the things other people say. If you can sit down and read or watch something for an hour or however long, why don’t you spend that much time with God in prayer and your bible. Truth be told, when I am sick and I read, I half read and don’t always understand what I am reading. When I watch a movie, it doesn’t take much effort from me to do that. I pray and I read my bible when I am sick and other times I try to and am not successful. I love God’s word and to read it and understand it. When I am sick and foggy brained or have a ton of pressure in my head, it barely makes sense.
I beat myself up over this. But why? God kows my situation and that my heart if for him and only him. I seek him in my sickness and look for him. Some times like Job says
“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there,
and backward, but I do not perceive him;
9on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him;
he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.
10But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.
I feel at times like I cannot find him or feel his presence. But I have promises that tell me he will never leave me nor forsake me. This truth is the same for me as it is for you. After these trying moments, we shall come out as gold. We will be more like Christ if we allow God to have his way in our life and stay faithful to him as Job did. Job loved the Lord and as proof he shows it in staying faithful to the Lord in the midst of the worst tragedies that we can fathom. I love Job’s story because it teaches me that even when things get hard, I can remain faithful to the Lord and stay on the same narrow path even though it hurts. Christ is worthy!